Lincoln Practice Paraphrasing Review
By Adam Tyler
"On two occasions, we see a flash of anger from the president, when his son Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) wants to join the army against his parents' wishes, and when his wife confronts him about the unmentionable subject of their late son, and their unspeakable burden of grief and guilt. Most of the time, Lincoln's emotions and energies are encoded in the opaque language of diplomacy and politics: when he is openly angry, he seems poignantly weak and vulnerable." Lincoln-review, The Guardian, by Peter Bradshaw, 2013.
My paraphrase of this selected passage is, Mr. Lincoln becomes irritated twice because the character Robert (Lincoln's son) who is portrayed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, wishes to become a soldier, much to the dismay of his mother and father. Mrs. Lincoln even confronts her husband about Robert's older brother who died and doesn't want to feel the shame and sorrow again. Whenever Lincoln is mad out in public, he becomes less focused and less powerful of a figure.
The first sentence is a little long and causes me to get lost. We don't know that the dead son was killed. The last sentence blurs the meaning a bit.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could make it more clear that Robert is their son. The actual passage does not say anything about the connection between the war and their dead son or how he died. The last sentence does not seem to convey the original meaning.
ReplyDeleteAdam, your paraphrase does not make the mistake of using too many words from the original, which is great. However, it does change ideas as well as words. For example, you've explained more about why Lincoln is so upset about his son joining - which is true, but its not what the author said, and its not the point they were making at that time. The last sentence is closest to being acceptable. See my paraphrase, pasted in below. It conveys the meaning of the passage. Then, revise your own work so that it captures that meaning in your own words. Let me know when you've uploaded a revised paraphrase and I'll reevaluate it.
ReplyDeleteIn the movie, Lincoln, the president is twice shown demonstrating angry emotions, when because of his son’s desire to play a fighting role in the military despite the fact that his parent’s don’t want him to do so, and again when he reacts with exasperation to his wife’s pain and loss over death of another of their sons. These instances stand out because Lincoln is usually so skillful at keeping his emotions in check, so that they serve his strategic purposes in solving diplomatic or political issues. In fact, it is when he gives in to his emotions, as in the two outbursts mentioned, that he seems the least powerful.
Caught a typo in the first sentence, so read this one:
ReplyDeleteIn the movie, Lincoln, the president is twice shown demonstrating angry emotions, once because of his son’s desire to play a fighting role in the military despite the fact that his parent’s don’t want him to do so, and again when he reacts with exasperation to his wife’s pain and loss over death of another of their sons. These
instances stand out because Lincoln is usually so skillful at keeping his emotions in check, so that they serve his strategic purposes in solving diplomatic or political issues. In fact, it is when he gives in to his emotions, as in the two outbursts mentioned, that he seems the least powerful.